And now it's time for another edition of, BRIAN AT THE LIBRARY DOING A PROJECT BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE IT!!!... I mean MTN News

Mother Theresa News your source for all things pointless and sarcastic
with... your host, Brian Gooyers
his new... temporary co-host/psychic Misty Breeze
   Dingus Cornstalk with the weather
and supervillain Monsieur Toupe with sports

B - Good Evening...Morning...Holidays...Siesta...Good whenever you got bored enough to check this crap! Today on the show we have a bunch of cool features... like psychic Misty Breeze! Hello Misty

M - Good evening....*rubs temples* Gary

B -...... Brian

M - Do you happen to like... upholstry?

B - .........*turns to camera* *turns back to guest* yes... yes i do

M - i can sense doom in this place... it comes at the next full moon, it shall come on the form of a pastry.... WITH A FILLING OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOM *dun dun dun*

B - where the bloody hell did that sound come from? wow... yur good

M - I know not of what you speak foolish mortal

B - .......... so um... what are the horoscopes lookin like... Misty?

M - Aries birthday is approaching, watch out for strong breezes and pregnant women
      Scorpio ignore criticism and do a jig
       Tauro, run for public office and stand in front of the microwave
     Pisces, you will find true love in the sewers, and you cravings for passionfruit
 Virgo, you are confused about a math equation, and you should be harsh towards stupid people
Cancer, you don't want to know
Aquariuis... wash all of your white clothing, quit your job and become a mime... if yur a mime...become a bum
Capricorn, you are strangely attracted to your bus driver, but resist, they have 13 cats and smell like bad pizza
I cant remember the rest... of threr are an... so if i forgot you, your lives will be pointless and forgettable as usual

B - Who do you think you are??? PAssionfruit? Sewers? Math Equations??? Are you crazy? On drugs? Too much time on yur hands? NOT enough time on yur hands... there is something seriously wrong with you, and I dont even want to know... because im afraid you'll snap and sprinkle some sort of dust on me and chant and then my head is going to turn into a potato and I DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN

M - I shall be departing *puff of smoke*

B - ...................................................................... yur still here... you do realize that dont you?

M - DAMN.. *crawls off camera*

B - well that went terribly, hers Dingus Cornstalk with the weather

D - WEll howdy doody folks, we've got lowur temprtoors than a pigs belly on Christmas murnin!!! So grab a spitoon shove yur obese second cousin off the couch and sit back for some astronomical... foon!!! *note foon has NOTHING to do with fun* Theres some snow risin over them purty lakes from ur neebers the 'mericans. I got bout 53 relertives ther, all of em by blood, you see us perples dont see nuttin wrong wif marryin ur own folk, cuz ya see... poepel are all diff'rnt and not all of um are the same ya c? Well toodie doo and have a DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGY DAY

B - Good lord in heaven give me strength... thank you Dingus for proving that you are capable of coherent speech... just do Sports Monsieur Toupe

T - I shall do no such ting! I am the feered MOnsieur Toupe and vous shall obay mya evry command! I will rool de world for eternitee with my robots all shall bow before de awesome will of *dun dun dun* MONSIEUR TOUPE... isnt that right Muffincakes

M - Mrowr?

T - TU ES CORRECTE MUFFINCAKES, j'ai presque oublie... all men must wear toupe's like myself, and all women must dress in newspaper clothing! Under mt supreme rule the world shall become a better place, a peaceful domain... after i wipe out all de english, polish, spanish, dutch and german people of course or convert them into brainless slaves who perform my evree weesh!!! *laffs in the french way... you know what i mean* Dere will be a curfew of 5 o,clock in de afternoon and all television emissions shall contain myself on the show "Monsieur Toupe loves everyone... except most of them" for de adults and "Muffincakes Forced Amusement for Small Infants" for the... children.

B - I'm going to have to stop you there... monsieur, because we're running out of time... Thanks alot folks... and if your like me you'll be hiding in the cellar tonight! HAHAHAHAHA This was MTN News, bringing you the best in free of tyranical rule television.. stay tuned for "Endlessly Searching for Drama" our new soap opera ...and until next time... shove a pineapple in it!

I have NO idea if this will work... I somehow got it to work so here it goes

It's time for another long anticipated edition of *appropriate news theme*
Mother Teresa News... News
With your host, Brian Gooyers     
New Co-host certified old lady Olga Nugentree
Francis Guadoloupe with the weather
Butch Campbell with sports

And heeeere we go!!!

B - Good evening folks, we've been having technical difficulties lately, one of our cameras had a scratch in it, so we decided to ship them all back, and recieve new ones. But don't you worry, we're still going to offer the half-assed, completly made from scratch journalism that you know... and kinda sorta are mildly interested in when your not feigning indifference like the rest of the world *winks*

 O- when I was a lass, such romanticisms werent permitted in public, if you wanted to show affection you gave someone a half peeled onion... get the recieveer all teary eyed and such... that was back in the 20's when we still had wooden utensils, and they were called different things nowadays... I think one of them was called a midgie... I'm sorry my minds gettin away on me again

B - ....... oookkkkkkk

N - DON't YOU SASS ME BOY, else I'll do what the nuns used to do to us back in the 10's (what do you call that... the tens?) they'd take branch of a rose bush (those nice thorny ones) and flick yur wrist till it was all gross and... and rosey. Then they'd always say "Olga you sit there and blink in sync with the rest of em like a good little girl"

B - anyways, the Semi-Formal was a huge success, the theme of the night was "Why we're better than the rest of the world" there were posters of crappy movies all over the school... why? because we can!!! some were mistaken into thining the theme was "the oscars' but did any of you think??? BEAUTY SHOP had a poster, THE LONGEST YARD had a poster... i mean COME ON PEOPLE, they were mildly successful but lets not get the poor directors hopes up... jeeze. Anyways, events at the semi formal were a) dunk the hobbo into a shark pool by throwing bags of money at a target b) money counting c) eating contest in front of the weight loss clinic d) drunk driving e) beg for money from weak willed parents and finally f) pin the tail on the... monopoly man???

O -  I once met that "Monopoly man" he was quite the fetching fellow back in his day, he had a monocle, and a top hat... he called himself "El Quado" he didnt know what it meant... and it didnt matter, because he brought me an onion... a big one, he asked me to come away with him to America... but then he changed, with all the corporateness, he started becoming more and more obsessed with buying property... it was a game to him, he bought boardwalk, marvin gardens... it didnt matter to him. and then on the saddest day of my life, he came up to me with a feather in hius cap, and a block of wood tied to his bel (it was the style at the time) and he gave me a nail.. which was a way of saying "I've filed for a restraining order you german cow" which comfused me because I was Swedish. To this day I wonder what could have been... *sniff*

B - aaaaaaannnnnddd heres Francisco Guadaloupe with the weather... Stew left us during our absense from television... and i dont mean dead, he couldnt take the emotional strain anymore.. lets just say if you see a man fly off a building scraeming "I REGRET NOTHING" thats probably him.. take it away Francis..co

F - Ola amigo, I am your new... how do you say... weather male... man, we have a sig... sign... significanto gust of a dee wind commin in fron dee west, it shall bringa dee sun to ur reegion, so bee purpared for som warm weader. I canna not reed dis!!! Aya mia co dios rico maya loco por vos y dona!!

B - what...was...that... I mean you arent even spanish FRANCIS... get over yourself and speak right, just cuz yur last name is guapoloupe doesnt mean you can.. just do it right

F - *ahem* theres some wind... its coming... nice weather... Olay!

B - Shut up, and now heres Butch Campbell with the weather

BC- HEY, WE GOT SOME CRAZY ACTION GOIN ON IN THE SCHOOL THAT WE ARE IN THAT SCHOOL IS CALLED MOMMA TEE.

B - Butch... why are you yelling

BC- I AINT YELLIN, YOU DONT WANNA HEAR ME YELL. WOOOOO GO SPARTANS.

O - wha? I'm sorry sonny but you're gonna have to speak up... you kids today never speaking loud enough, always mumbling away about shoes or shelves or sumthing or another. I have to put a light to my ear to hear anything you people say

B - a light?

O - helps the blood start flowing, clears the sinuses... or is that a bottle of gin

B - a bottle of gin?

O - o yes with a little umbrella and a splash of vodka... and maybe throw in a pineapple

BC - SPORTS... IMPORTANT

B - o yes go on

BC - WE GONNA WIN THIS ONE, WE GONNA BEAT CCH IN HOCKEY

B - fat chancce, if you do, CCH will have to have had bad meat before the game, be wearing no skates, bashed over the head witha 2*4

O - and coughed on by a sick chicken

B - anyways, we're out of time for tonight, see you... nect month , year, day or minute . I'm Brian gooyers.. and i can assure you NONE of these hosts will be back

It's time for another edition of... MTN NEWS!!! Because its easier than talking about real issues

With your host Brian Gooyers! and our new (hopefully more than one episode) co host Vanessa ... Cartwright.. (forgive the name, she can always be replaced)

B - Good.. eveing, morning.. good whenerver you read this my fellow weird, spoiled brats, its time for anoyher edition of MOther Teresa News....News. I'm Brian Gooyers

V - And I'm Vanessa Cartwright

B - Why we;come to the show Vanessa, we're glad to have you here

V- Ahahaha, why thank you Brian... but is it just me ... or were you the one who wrote " Your a trashy whore who wouldn't recognize good news if it pounced at her and latched onto her face? "

B - WHY I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT

V - even though I haven't even begun reading the news, you immediatly come out with your rtude and uncalled for

B - Let's just get on with this you little street walker

V -O IT'S ON!!!... and now for todays news

B - Paul Martin and Stephen Harper have both appeared in the boring boring city which within we all live (cept for me) and MTN News asks the question... who really cares? I mean what high school student really gives a crap? I mean Harper is a stone-cold creep and Martin is a bumbling bufoon... It's all yours Tits McGee!

V - *gasps* WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!!!

B - Just read the news ,amateur, you're acting like a crazy PMS bitch

V - O MY GOODNESS!!! HOW DARE YOU *breathes in, breathes out* Our schools annual Christmas Assembly is tomorrow,  the schedules acts include ; Spiffy the breakdancing robot, some crappy band that you wont be able to hear over the instruments or understand, some guy you feel sorry for while he desperatly flails his limbs in soome sort o forbidden dance, and as always the cheerleaders

B - woot woot... i mean may god.. have mercy on their souls???... um... go growlbacks? I don't know what I'm supposed to say now

V - You aren't supposed to say anything, and nwo for the weather... with Stew McStew.. hello stew

S - ...... no ... no one's ever acknolledged me like that b4... thank you , from the bottomn of my heart...*whispered*  thank you

B -  um moving right along...

S - FINE, there is no chance of a snow day tomorow

B- GOD SMACK IT

S - There is a high chance or fog, so keep those head lights on people, the temperature is going to be rising gradually to hit a high of about +5*C for friday, maybe with some mixed flurries rain or snow, with quite a bit of sunshine slipping through some thick clouds.. I'm Srew McStew thank you

B - ............. I'm impressed Stew I mean not once did you start with the

S - I'm so pathetic I look in the mirror and see nothing but a empty, unrecognixable, ugly THING,( you just knew it was coming) there is not a moment that goes by that I don't doubt woh I am , or what i should do, I have nothing to live for, its all report news this, report news that, and when i do do it theres always a fault, always some reason why I cant say what i want, what happened to free speech, saying what we want and not having to worry abnout being pushed around for what we beleeve in! HUH HUH???

B - I think you need some serious psychiatric aid, I mean homnestly... sure you can be miserably depressing... if thats what you want... but ... its just not something everyone needs to say... jeeze... i mean where the hell did that come from ? Except dont explain cuz i KNOW where it came from, it came from lack of human affection, and living on donuts, and Soup For One's for the last 7 months JUST because your girlfriend who may or may NOT be real, and if shes that poster of Aunt Jemima I saw hidden in the corner of the dressing room than YES she is real... the picture i mean not Aunt Jemima herself , but shes incabable of love!!! MOVING ON

V - *wipes tear from eye* This broadcast has gone on too long, It's time for me an all of us at MTN News to say goodnight

B - MAybe  you will be here next week Vanessa, We'll see what the public has to say

V - humph... until next time, may your days be full of sunshine and happiness

B - ...THATS yur signing off phrase, never mind you ARE gone next week!!!

V - lets hear yours!!!

B -  *ahem* Fuck You Mother Teresa.. GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY

Today was less than amusing, i mean... a blizzard on a PD day?? I mean COME ON!!! Cant i get TWO 4 day weekends in a row??? is that too muhc to ask???

ah well.... what really sucked  was I got to shovel the laneway (also known as a city driveway multiplyed by 2, with a broken shovel... it was unpleasant and THEN is kept on reblizzarding on me! My rents said that it was wrose in Gladstone than just about anywhere els

WHIPEE!!! So ya.. i have 1.5 feet of snow to be thankful for on this PD DAY!!! I mean come on... thats just unreasonable !!! Anyways moving RIGHT alon

*Welcome back to the MTG, the Mother Theresa .......Gorilla

*we now return to this weeks episode of  "Not-the-truths, Relations and Audio tape" *
wait wait wait... come on Brian you can do better than this...
*we now return to this weeks episode of "Coincidences and Overacting" *
NO no no, gotta stop it with the attempted wittiness but failing.. just let it come to you

*we now return to this weeks episode of "" *
ah.. beautuful

Gregorito - If only I could love you Francinellabeth, but we must come to accept the things that push us apart... your a convicted murderess, you sleep with every man you see, and you keep seasoning me with a hungry look in your eye!

Francinellabeth - But there is also so much that brings us together!!!

*narrator* ......... um.... this has nothing to do with anything... at all... really.... who are we kidding, and i mean Gorillas? Did you just make a spelling mistake and decide to keep it

Brian - .......... yes sir

*narrator* you should be ashamed of yourself... MTN is a very respectable news station, SURE we would be 100000 times better if we let ANYONE else do it, SURE our news in uninspired, SURE we have absolutly no original programming besides a news show that barely happens weekly, SURE our  weather mans suicidal our cohost are ever changing, and our host is semi-psychotic... but so help me, i love you MTN , and i woodnt have you any other way

except of course... all that stuff i said

*news music* It's time for another edition of Mother Theresa News...news, the snootiest place on channel 99, and heres your host, Brian Gooyers

B - Good evening fellow tight-asses, I'm Brian Gooyers and I have a deep and burning hate for just about each and every one of you, and heres my co-host Janie Swellington the card-board cutout. Hello Janie

J - .....................................................................

B - .... what am i supposed to do? Why is that cut out there!!! ... I Guess ill just roll with it.. isnt that right Janie

J - .....................................................

B - Hahahahaha, how very funny Janie, o are those new shoes? I must say you look ravishing tonight

J - ............................

B - Um... ya... let's not say that for evryone to hear Janie, i mean im blushing here... let's go to weather with Stew McStew

S -Hello Brian, we're going to be getting some rain, and it might freeze overnight, perhaps causing some bus cancelations for all of the little school children... Me? I had a terrible childhood, i mean my only toys were an Elastic teddy bear and a bouncy ball made out of tin foil... but we should get some sunshine later on in the day tomoro... my wife is the sunshine in my day.... if only i cood give her life

B - Stew... we've been through this before ... shes a sock puppet

S - SHUT UP!!! YOu think your so superior sitting in that swivel chair while i stand here in front of a frikking screen!!!!

B - I earned this job, i had to work hard!!! I'm a natural *looks at camera dramatically* *winks*

S - I work hard 2 you bastard!!! I work hours to bring quality forecasts to you every day *looks at camera deressingly* *cries*

B - Stew.. yur a good weather guy, but we dont need the soul crushing details of your miserable existence everytime you get a moment of screentime

S - .............................. ouch...... ILL GET YOU, ILL KILL ALL OF YUR DOGS!!! Ah screw it... ill go eat a bucket of bacon fat and cry ABBA songs until i fall asleep

B - WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE DETAILS!!! ... ...

o right, the show must go on
"On n'est pas seul" WEll i can safely say thaqt ... NOT BRian Gooyers of the French Immersion wishes he could have been more "seul" when he presented one of the sappiest french love poems ever created... he was then asked by NOT Mme Bertrand to present it AGAIN in front of her grade 9 french class... Brian said he'd think about it... but i really doubt i will, i mean HE will, cuz... i dont like the grade 9's THAT WAS A ONE TIME DEAL... If you dont know already it involved BRian in a suit.. proposing to an imaginary woman... TRAUMATISING, but it felt really good to get it over with .. anyways... Now heres Janie with a feature on the Advent liturgy

J - ...................................................................

B - for once she's usefel, that liturgy was... less than exciting,  your right Janie it  could have used some fireworks and of course a dancing monkey.
Nice feature Janie...

 in other news Mme Gasperotto  has officially filled the role of grade 10 history teacher for the rest of the semester

In related news, a grade 10 class of history taking french immersion students have been doomed to an eternity of feeling bad about every moment that they live! I mean you can love religion, and say it, you have the right, but there is a limit!!!

J - ...................................

B - WWHY IS THIS THING HERE!!! I non scripted news... i need suggestions for co-hosts... because... i think the writers have just given up! So leave a suggestion cuz... ya

J - ...................................

B - JANIE!!! man... how inapropriate of you!!! I apologize for her to all of our viewers under the age of 40  who knit... good luck finding things to do when you get older

Good night and until next time, may god have mercy on your souls!

Science... o dear lord science, I mean... I'm not the sort of student who will really talk nback to a teacher, like really, i will slack, i will be a bit of a jerk... but i don't yell at them! I'm not that stupid

With mazilli last year, she didn't like me, i hated her, I kept my mouth shut, and got a good mark, sometimes i felt like yellin at her, but i never did... Mr.Hickey is pushing it... I have never been so close!!!

"As you can see one of these beakers has 2ml, the other 8ml, the other 15ml... each have acids but some are fuller, one of these beakers has 2ml, the other 8ml, the other 15ml, but you guys arent going to be doing the same thing, no not the same thing. Youll be taking about 10 drops, 1 drop, 2 drop, 3 drop , 4 drop, 5 drop , 6 drop, 7 drop , 8 drop , 9 drop, and 10 drops. Then you take the next sample... 1 drop, 2 drop, 3 drop , 4 drop, 5 drop , 6 drop, 7 drop , 8 drop , 9 drop, and 10 drops

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, holy lord in heaven!!! How am I supposed to put up with that!!! IT went on for at least 15 minutes, i understood the expiriment after the first 5 minutes!!! I started to get up like 5 times, and hes just like "no no no , theres more to it" THERE ISNT!!!!

.................... so .......... tedious, i dont do ANYTHING in that class, O ... what we have a test??? Journal? Assignment? Homework? Lab? well ... that one slipeed my mind

and im starting to slack in everything else.... im so... fruistrated with myself.. i almost WANT one of my teachers to give me a crap mark.. JUST so i feel the need to improve! PLEASE mr hickey! Michail???

anyone?? I already know i have 85 in business and 84 in french, thats for first half.. so i need to keep up what i had going at lesat! I need a wake up call! but i doubt ill get it, hickey doesnt have the guts, and michail is too nice... but she is starting to think im a "monstre" but whateva

just so tired of... life right now, its the same routine!!! Wake up with the frikking sun, try to think of a breakfast when im semi concious, get on bus, try to sleep some more for AN HOUR, get to skool, almost go insane in science, punch spawn of ... annoyance, that SOMEONE in my class WILL punch in the face... he's just... SO irritatin sometimes, then i go to religion, try to stay awake,have lunch in a frikkin STAIRWELL!!! (if only there was sumthin between the stupidity of a starwell and the stupidity of the caf) have some laffs,  go to french feel alone in my corner for 80 minutes, get on bus try to sleep THEN 2, get home, I'm busy after school half the time, 2 days im not, and either way i barely do homework.... and then repeat 5345456 times

Im gonna do more skiing this winter, so i guess that will keep me.......busiER but lord... i want something new! jeese...

w.e i have to go anyway... i mean this is like the 3rd post like this!!! THATS how repetitive it is right now, its gotten annoying and more annoying and more annyoing

now to sleep... my escape, pretty much the best part of the frikkin day.. if only i cood sleep IN , im not in any way a morning person im the red eyed,  messy haird, wanders around kinda guy!

I hate rushin in the mornin, i barely have tim efor breakfasdt, then im hungry, and grumpy as hell

.................im goin to bed right now, my eyes are sagging

ah well, too tired to post anything meaningful... too hyper to not post anything... i guess this means its time for another ridiculous edition of!!!

*dramatic music* Mother Teresa News...News!!!

B- Hello fellow rich snobs, and welcome to another edition of MOther Teresa News....News, I'm cheif correspondant Brian Gooyers

K - OOOO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

B- and that was special guest correspondant... the Kool-Aid man... I apologise for him before we even get into this broadcast, he's not

K - SHUT YO MOUTH FOO

B - he's not the most polite... or quiet of guest correspondants we've ever had

K - MOVING RIGHT ALOOOOOOOOOOOONG.... O YAAAAAAAA

B - In todays news, today is remembrance day where we honor the men and women who gave their lives for this great country we live in, and to save the lives of many others in Holland, and POland and many others. We who live in this freedom completly forget how lucky we are to live somewhere where our opinions and actions can make a differnece, to better the world we live in, we have something to give to the rest of the world, but much of the time we are much more concerned with whether or not our clothes are fashionable or spending their money on things they dont need... All that is asked is one day to sit and reflect on what those men and women died for... and it wasnt for nothing... the service sent shivers down my spine today, and I for one wear my poppy with pride..... and fuck anyone who just brushes this day off without a thot.....

*KAMAKAZE WATERMELON* nooooooooooooo *smash*

K - NEVER GO SERIOUS AGAIN MAN, THIS IS FOR COMIC RELEIF MAN, THEY DONT WANT SUBSTANCE!!! DON't WORRY MAN, ILL COVER FOR YA

B - thank you Kool-Aid man, I don't know what came over me... It wont happen again i assure  you

K - OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

B - in other news, there was an outbreak of the dreaded Kwakalooka Fever today very near our school. The uncurable disease that slowly turns you into a gigantic potato is causing wide spread panic, and making being a French Fry the most popular, and deadly occupation in history... to learn how to protect yourself and those you love, do as follows

K - WE"LL BE RIGHT BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!! AFTER THESE MESSAGEEEEEES!!!

*pleasant female voice* Do you love kleenex? cheap jewlery? Reasonably priced fried cheese? Half constructed furniture? All you can eat rice cakes?

THEN COME ON DOWN!!! To Mister Wally Gore's SUPER FILL YUR FACE/CLOSET STORE !!! Come on down, we can make you 10 pounds heavier in 10 minutes!!! Get yur picture taken with a hairy woman!!! Eat a peice of a 50 year old gingerbread house!!! Read a story from a stranger with questionable intent!!!

ALL THIS AND MORE AT MISTER WALLY GORE"S SUPER FILL YUR FACE/CLOSET STORE

B - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're back, now for a weather report... with... *sigh*  Stew McStew the Weather Guy. Stew?

S - Thank you Brian, we can see that for tomorow we can expect a heat wave heading this way... I wish i could say the same for my love life.... we can also see that right after this heat wave there will be some light rainfall... it was raining when my mail order bride deflated...we can also see that there will be a cold front after this rain and possibly some flurries.... i just farted

B - .............. that was both depressing... and informative, thank you Stew

S - not like I have anything else to do, i have 6 cats for gods sake!!! I havnt had a relationship  since kindergarten!!! My psychiatrist thinks im a loser

B -  a hahahahaha, that Stew... always sayin stuff.

K - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

B - I know its depressing Kool-Aid man... I'd comfort you but I'm part afraid of you, and im also half aware that you dont exist...

K - MY SECRET SHAME!!!!!!!

B - and now for our feature, it's about a day in the life of a secretary at MTS, dont worry ... im covering it, so it will be  as good as usual

*A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN MTS SECRETARY*

B - So, Mrs.Ironbuns how is it in the office today

I - Fuck you to!

B - Now thats just uncalled for!

I - you wanna dance news boy!!!

*End of feature*

B - There was more to that interview, but i doubt you guyd want to see me beat up a 50 year old woman

K - SHE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOPED YO AAAAASS!!!!!

B - She moved like lightening man! She was over that counter before I could blink, and the next thing i knew, i had a stapler down my throat, and a computer smashed over my head!!! I STILL HAVE THE BRUISES, AND GOD KNOWS WHERE THE GLUE BOTTLE WENT!!!

K - YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

B - ok this whole broadcast is a failure... we have one last feature, Kool-Aid man caught up with Mr.Hickey, a science teacher

*MR HICKEY, MAN OR MYTH"

K - HELLO MR HICKEY... O YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

H - why hello, hello, Mr. Koolaid man, it is a pleasure to meet you, im glad to be here today, isnt it a nice day? The sun sure is shining, shinging is the sun, maybe te sun is shining... SHINING IS THE SUN

K - *splashes kool-aid onto Hickeys face* KEEP IT TOGETHER DUDE

H - im so sorry, i apologise, excuse me, please forgive me, i didnt mean it, could the act of reconciliation be in order? should i be sorry?

K - YOU NAME SOUNDS LIKE A MARK THAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY MAKE OUT.... BUT IM MADE OF GLASS, I MEAN MAN... I HAVE NO ORGANS... I LIKE CANT EVEN MOVE ANYTHING BESIDES MY ARMS AND LEGS, MY FUCKIN FACE IS DRAWN ON!!! IM NOT A SENTIENT BEING... YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT MY LOVE LIFE IS LIKE??? ALL MY RELATIONS ARE A SHAM!!! THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING BETWEEN ME AND THOSE ZWAK KIDS, AND I REJECT ALL OF THE BIBO GUYS ADVANCES... I DONT SWONG THAT WAY... MRS. PAC MAN IS GETTING EMPTING THOGH

*END OF FEATURE*

B - well this was tramatising, goodnight snobs, I'm Brian Gooyers

K - AND IM 90% LIQUID

B - and until next time, what do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord.... MY ASS!!!

GOONIGHT EVERYBODY

Well then, since ranting happens to be the fad nowadays...

I'm probably gonna quit karate, because most of the people I know have just decided to pack up and leave, and leave me all alone for an hour! I have no one to practice with.. ugh its just boring now, ill take up skiing or something, screw that stupid karate crap

then theres school... goddam school

science - mr hickey shood be ... ARRRRRRRGH, i dont have words for how tedious that class is!!! I didn't realize that a lesson that SHOULD take half the lesson takes an entire frikking period... hmm... maybe itsd because we go over a question like 5 times, then after that we have a slightly different question... that needs to be takin up 5 more times... UGH, i listen for the first 5 minutes then ignore him for 10 minutes, listen for 5, sleep for ten

computers, not too too bad, i dont really know anyone, i talk to a few people, and i can ask anyone around me to save me from too much work, but its still pretty boring

religion, is being pointless, we have been doing LA LIBERTE for like3 weeks, theres no lesson!!! we just have conversations! Not that im complainin.. it just seems pointless

FRENCH, i thot i loved that class but FRENCH, i sit ina corner, where i cant open my mouth without a certain someone snapping at me, i just sit there and feel stupid, as she goes on, and i ask about it... get told to shut up... urgh

Lunch, apparently sitting at a table with like 4 other people is much better than sitting with the Brian, and then its OUR fault that we dont wanna move, we wont spend all of high school in there, dont feel like you have to belong or anything, we do have another 3 years! im being pushed of the cmoputer... as usual ... but ill still try to finish this

that will really solve it wont it, alienate yourself from some of the frenchies, and also sit in a caf... do you think anyone cares? "O their sitting in the caf, it must mean they want to belong" Both the cafr and the stairwell have their advantages and disadvantages... but good lord, dont just try to  throw it on all of the sudden,... i dont want to sit in the caf yet, its stupid, and tedious, in the stairwell yur surrounded by all the people youd want to talk to anyways. In the caf, yur with like 4 of the people you waht to talk to, and like 700 other people who coodnt give less of a shit!!!

All of this os just the tip of the frikkin iceburg

screw mts, screw trying to belong to something i hate in the first place, screw trying to fit in with rich, self obsessed, ass holes (not all oof them) but im mad right now, so im generalizing!

ah but alas, this journal is depressingly depressing of late

as is the earth upon with which i forsaketh thee... ok i made most of that up, but you have to admit it soudned damn good... I missed friday therefore i miised a MTN News broadcast... therefore

BELATED MOTHER TERESA NEWS...NEWS!!! With Brian Gooyers!!! and new co-anchor... Jesus...wait thats EXTREMLY unreligious.... Alfonso Rodriquez the 410th the roaming poet

B- Good evening, welcome to another edition of MTN News, on todays show we have some very special programs, another Freak of the Week, Why MTS is such a great school, a disapointing paraliturgy, the latest on the flesh eating turkey situation, and Alfonso's new addition to the program Where you shood eat...food

Our first story, Why is MTS so great?? Why you ask... becuase we promote wealth and every man for himselfism (if Momma T taught us nothing else its that...besides... the opposite.. of course *ahem*) also we dont.....like....hitler... or... that guy who... kicked that doll... off a bridge.. O WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE IT SO...

PLeasnt female voice -*pleasant music* Please wait a moment, as we fix our rich cameras... got a problem, bathe in money for a while *pleasant music continues*

*brians eye is twitching* AAAANNNNNDDD we're back........In other news!!! Our newest addition of Freak... of .. THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

*camera cuts to Andrea*
A- Hi my name is andrea... now ill do a dance *limbs flail wildly!!! back flips are attempted!!! someersaults are considered!!! CHAOS IS CREATED* thank you... my bitches

B- ha ha ha ha ha ha... if only i coodnt dance like that... now for 2 of our other stories, The flesh eating turkey situation has worsened of late, scientists... or at least some hick on the side of the road say that the problem is not getting any better and soon we will all be ruled by some strange sort of turkey vs. man society of death and destruction...

there was also a paraliturgy in the chapel today, it was mme michails class, emma and juliette were presenting... 5 words for it; LACK OF TAMBORINE AND DRUM, THEY HAD THEM BUT THEY FAILED TO USE THEM... I MEAN COME ON.. I GUESS THAT WAS MORE THAN 5 WORDS ( a+l you knew it was comin)

and now for alfonsos article Where you shood eat...food

Alfonso - thank you Brian... yur cat sure is dyin

B- I dont own a cat

A- dude.. i have to rhyme... all the time

B- im sure they didnt see that coming

A- and here goes my poem on where you shood eat, where during dinner you should surely... seat

*ahem* Today is the day on which i will say
that sugar is sweet, and michals are gay
that food tastes so good, yes it tastes so  great
yes when you eat it, off of a plate
now which plate you ask? one off the floor?
no, one at a buffet... with double doors
whats this place called? you stupids might ask
its called the MANDARIN, you cant get ye flask

THANK YOU THANK YOU

B- that was touching, and thats this edition of Mother Teresa News... News

Alfonso- I'm alfonso rodriguez the 410th the roaming poet

B- And im Brian gooyers, now put on pants you tramp  

(WAY TOO MUCH FUN)
NOW FOR A UNRELATED QUOTE
Australian Man - you call that a knife??? THIS is a knife
boy-thats a spoon
Aussie man-O.. i see youi've played knifey spoony before!